Olde Folkes Week

I think this whole week should be declared a holiday just for retired people.  I'm not sure what to call it, but the purpose would be to celebrate the end of spring break. 

In our area this year it seems like every school district for miles around, including all of the colleges and universities, had spring break last week.  So the parks, supermarkets, malls and everything else were even more crowded than they are on the weekends.  My wife and I tried to walk the park  last week, as we usually do, but there were so many joggers and bike riders on the trail that we got most of our exercise by jumping aside in order to keep from getting run over whenever we heard the crunch of gravel behind us.  We thought maybe we should walk the mall instead, but that was even worse, so we just blew it off.

Things were just as bad at home.  Apparently the tight economy meant that none of the folks on our street could afford to take the kids on vacation while they were out of school.  So herds of the screaming little vandals were marauding in the street, and in our front yard, night and day.  It seemed as though there were twice as many kids on our culdesac as there are during summer vacation.  I think someone was importing them from another neighborhood.  I tried to get some lawn work done out front one day but had so many kids hanging around asking what I was doing and offering to “help” that I gave up and put it off till spring break was over. 

Now, don't get me wrong:  I like kids, and unlike W. C. Fields, I don't even prefer them barbecued.  My wife and I have grandkids and we enjoy it when they trek over the toll road and through the burbs to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  We like to attend their school plays, choir programs, band concerts, and all of that stuff too.  It's just that, when you are retired, you kind of get into the habit of having the world to yourself when school is in session and the parents are at work or the day spa or whatever.  That's the time when retirees get to howl.  OK, a lot of time the howling is a response to creaking joints and random shooting pains, but during the work day is when we seniors own the world.  Like gray-bearded vampires we head back to the castle to chill out on the back patio as soon as the minivans and crossovers start lining up in front of the schools.  Things are just too hectic during the weekend or when school and work are done for the day.  We like the more relaxed pace of retiree time.  Of course, it does get a little annoying trying to maneuver around all those motorized carts and walkers in the grocery aisles, but it's better than dodging rugrats in high gear.

So, yeah, I think the week after spring break should be officially declared Olde Folkes Week or something like that and we gray panthers should get a BOGO at our favorite lunch place.  Works for me anyway.